Fun with IM Spammers.

16 Mar

Allen Taylor: hey you

Cranky coot: Help me.

Allen Taylor: l happened 2 c u online so i thought i’d say hi
27.female, how bout u????

Cranky coot: My arm is caught in the trash disposal. Can you call 911?

Allen Taylor: Hmmm have we met ever b4???

Cranky coot: Yes, but I had two arms then. The pain is exCRUCiating.

Allen Taylor: oh okk. i wasnt reaIIIy sure. anywayz tho whats up???

Cranky coot: The grinding gears are chewing at my ulna.

AllenTaylor: l so bored on here anymore. there’s never anyone on ya know???

Cranky coot: It’s getting harder to read as I’m exsanguinating rapidly.

Allen Taylor: weII l got an idea if u wanna have sum fun. i was gonna get on my cam but noone’s around as usual. There is this cool site i’m on just like fbook but w.o anystupid kids wanna see????

Cranky coot: As soon as I’m out of intensive care, I’m sure we can have the most fulfilling of shallow relationships, but my priorities are a little hazy right now.

Allen Taylor: it only takes asec. to signup and it’s freeeeee 2 http://www/.*********** just click the “join free’ at the top.

Cranky coot: OWWWWWWWWWWWWW, Oh GOD, It just ripped my hand off!

Allen Taylor: once u sign up ure aIII set and u can joinmy private chat and tell me what 2 do

Cranky coot: Call 911 you stupid slag!

Allen Taylor: yeah u do need a c.c. of sumkind but u wiII not get charged a penny

Cranky coot: I’m fully insured for emergency room visits.

Allen Taylor: If u have any probIems just let me know andi’ll help u out but hurry up i’m gettin lonely waiting

Cranky coot: Let me just wrap a tourniquet around this stump and I’ll see if I can access your whore-wall, oh wait, the room is spinning.

Allen Taylor: u in yet hun?? i’m going to go get my sexiest thong on so ill brb can’t wait to see u!!!!

Cranky coot: Yeah, go dig that filthy thing outta the sofa. I’ll be here on the floor, “ALLEN.”

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