Archive | June, 2012

The women in my life today.

7 Jun

At The Metropolitan Museum of Art this morning, I was checking my group in at the Uris Educational Center when the clerk said, “Next?” and seeing no one stepping forward, I did and presented my paperwork. He began giving me my admission buttons. A woman with a another group and a fistful of mismanaged crinkled paperwork stumbled forward all agog with disarray and panic and said, “What do I do now?” The clerk said, “As I told you before, fill out your voucher and I’ll be with you as soon as I finish with this gentleman” meaning me. The woman said, “You mean this guy who just cut in front of me?” The clerk told her I did not cut in front of her, but nothing really needed to be said because I had shot her a look that could have cauterized the severed jugular I saw on her neck in my head. I moved slowly past her, eerily close, handed the buttons out to my students, then instructed them and loudly, “Now follow me to the right of this extremely passive-aggressive woman.” Which was extremely passive-aggressive of me, but fuck it. Quid pro quo.

After our visit, forty-eight of us piled on to the nearly empty M4 bus down Fifth Avenue. Now, I know it is a pain in the ass to have a huge group get on your bus. But we live in NYC. It happens. The students were actually pretty well behaved and I stood there dropping in their Metro Cards in while we moved south so we didn’t even hold anyone up. Finally seated, the woman next to me said, “I’m getting off here” in rather neutral tones. I told my group as kindly as I have ever mustered to “Please make room for this nice woman stepping off.” She turned to me and spat, “This isn’t a private bus, you know,” shaking her palsied wrinkled head. I said and loudly, “I know, and they all paid the full public price unlike your senior half-fare,” then continued and louder, “Please make room for this crab everyone.” Which was crabby of me, but she got in a parting shot.

When’s the last time an eighty-something-year old woman flipped YOU off?

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