These are a few of my favorite things.

28 Jun

E-mail from my favorite kid last week, who knew enough to compare, the little genius…

I just wanted to say thanks so much for everything. Our tour guide in DC sucked. We all kept saying we missed you. I miss you like crazy. We’ll see each other again one day!

     *****

The parents from Texas: Les Misérables was totally inappropriate for our kids.

Me: Why? Because it’s about social injustice?

Later.

The kids: We LOVED the show.

     *****

E-mail from my favorite kid this week:

S: I miss u so much. Our tour guide in DC is not near as good as you. And DC is not near as good as NYC.

Me: Tell me something you learned in DC.

S: John F. Kennedy’s family had bad luck.

     ***** 

My favorite kid tonight:

After S and K, two graduating seniors who are a couple and also share a birthday today kissed at dinner, B turned to me and whispered, “The best thing about our town is when you break up with someone, you still get to see them at the family reunion.”

      *****

My least favorite kid today:

Her: You’ve never been four-wheelin’? That’s so weird.

Me: You’ve never been to The Metropolitan Museum of Art? Freak.

     *****

My favorite kid today:

At Rock Center, “Is this where Holden Caulfield goes ice skating?”

I gave the most unlikely kid to know his CATCHER that I have ever met, a 16-year old from a shitstorm of a miserable little dusty drought-riddled little stain of a town in the middle of a forgotten slice of Kansas so boring that Dick and Perry bypassed it to get to Holcombe to butcher the Clutters, a solid 20 points for shattering my preconceptions.

     *****

Kid: Are you ever glad to see a group lea–

Me: (interrupting) YES.

     *****

My favorite exchange today:

Me: Dova! What a beautiful name! I dov-a in da water!

Dova: It’s Jewish for small girl bear.

Me: It’s also Italian for a head-first jump.

Dova: You’re just making fun of me because I’m Jewish.

Me: So clearly you have absolutely no idea what city you’re in.

     *****

How to shut an Eighth-grader up.

As is well documented by my relentless moaning among friends, I had a basal cell thing removed near my eyebrow six months ago.

Him: Why do you have a scar on your —

Me (interrupting): CANCER.

     *****

My favorite kid today:

Her: Did anyone ever tell you you look like Gerard Butler?

Me: Did anyone ever tell you you are the last unicorn?

 

 

*

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