“Have you tryed theropy?”

9 Dec

My friend M is being Facebook stalked by a woman with whom he went to high school. She posted a video of twin babies talking on his wall. So I decided to jump in for the assist:

Woman (on my friend M’s Facebook page)
these twins are one of a kind ! to cute!

NC
I always get so nervous when I see toddlers standing around an oven. I wonder if this is what they are discussing.
9 hrs · Like · 1

Woman
i think their talking about their socks !
9 hrs · Like · 1

NC
I think so too! The one of the right doesn’t like the pair he is wearing and wants to trade, but the one on the left, clearly the beta twin, is low-key and happy with what he is wearing. No amount of convincing is going to get him to change his mind! The one on the right even kind of implied bribery I think and that’s the funniest part.
9 hrs · Like · 1

Woman
that’s funny !i think the one on the right is trying to show the other one he doesn’t know where his sock is,and the other one is showing him he has both of his on !
9 hrs · Like · 1

NC
It’s like he is confused as to why he only has the one. That’s the part that made me kind of sad. My twin brother always got more than me and I never understood why. And it wasn’t his fault as much as it was my parents’, but we were never close after that and now he’s gone I can’t tell him I’m sorry.
9 hrs · Like · 1

Woman
im sorry, you need to just forgive yourself. i’m sure he knowsyou were sorry .
9 hrs · Unlike · 2

NC
Aww thank you. I just can’t yet. When he was so sick at the end he was living in the home my parents had left him. (Nineteen rooms. I never understood why I wasn’t enough. They left me their stamps. A stamp collection. I never even knew the word ‘philatelic’ before that. And he got that house.) Anyway, I just couldn’t bring myself to cross that threshold. So to see these young little guys maybe going down that slippery slope, well, I just want to reach into that video and tell them, “Hug each other. Get away from the stove and hug each other!”

Oh my gosh, that brought up a lot.
9 hrs · Like · 2

Woman
you didn’t do anything wrong. your parents are the ones that needed to be sorry you should notput one child over the other,and then leave your everthing you own to one and a stamp collection to confirm it ! i can see why you had a hard timegoing back there.again . this is not on you, you have to figure out how to forgive your parents ,i still tink your brother knew you were sorry ! forgive yoursef for that. you are a kind ,caring, compassionit person,you turned out to be a great person inspite of all that ,and i for one am proud of you !
8 hrs · Unlike · 1

NC
Thanks again. As for my brother, he wrote in his will that he wanted someone to throw some of his ashes at me, and while he was known for his sense of humor, I think he kind of meant it. At my nephew’s wedding, one of the groomsman flicked his cigarette my way and I suspect it was a cruel intentional gesture. I don’t think I ever blamed my parents. I could never have kept up a home like that anyway and I never liked any of the servants very much. We had a nanny named Gerta and she used to threaten me in German all the time so ferociously that I was an adolescent bed-wetter and ever since I simply cannot stand the smell of rabbit. Hasenpfeffer she used to call it, spitting the way she would. It makes me queasy the thought of her warm green saliva hitting me in my young fresh face. Like all evil people, she is still alive and living in those attic quarters. Anyway. I’ve come to like the stamps. Sometimes, I look at them through a loop and search for imperfections. It’s kind of a metaphor for how I see myself, broken and worthless. Jeesh. Sorry guys. I should go to bed. But the heater is broken and it’s so cold in here. Darn NYC winters..
8 hrs · Like · 1

Woman
did your brother leave you anything else? that wasn’t anice thing he put in his will . he was not treating you nice because thats what he learned frm the people around you. thatjerk in the wedding is insignificate,who cares what he thinks .sometimes parents do this without even realizing it, you said you never blamed them so i think you just wanted their lovegood or bad i hope this is helping some. i came from a bad family situation too, iwon’t get into that because i’ve been through theropy, it helped! have you ever tryed that ? you owe it to yourself,youare worth it ! you are looking for imperfections to figure out what was wrong with you, why didn’t they care that much for you,you will never find the answer in those stamps, because there wasn’t anything wrong with you,they had the problem, not you ! i hope i have helped some. i just don’t want you to have to hurt anymore,there is help out there and youdeserve it!
7 hrs · Like

NC
My brother also left me his violin. But I think that was a thinly-veiled slight as well because I lost the tip of my third finger on my left hand when it got caught in a ski lift in Sainte-Foy Tarentaise when we were children. I have one piece of advice for you: The French Alps are notoriously dangerous. If you’re going over, the Swiss Alps are far friendlier. Have you been? Anyway, I had to give up violin lessons and take up the oboe which is the saddest sound in the world and still I have difficulty with runs because the third finger is used quite often even in reed instruments. So I have this Guarneri violin now. And I can’t play it. Apparently it’s worth quite a bit of money but you can’t imagine how many nights like this I thought of setting it on fire as it’s so cold in here. I’ve never tried therapy. Is that like that psychic hotline that that nice Jamaican woman used to talk about on TV? It scares me the thought of someone being able to read my mind. It scares me because I have strange thoughts. Like, I give my major appliances voices. Sometimes I can’t sleep because the refrigerator is teasing the microwave. I know that sounds weird and silly like I am making that up, but I think it happens when you are lonely and angry. But I’m glad it worked for you. I can tell. You seem to be very strong. And it is nice that you are so giving. If you’d ever like oboe lessons, let me know. I can teach you everything but anything that has to do with the third finger on your left hand.
5 hrs · Like

Woman
i have never been to the french alps im’m kind of poor so i do nt think i’ll be goinganytime soon ! haha,i’m sorry about your finger i think you should sell the violin and buy some kind of space heater so you will not be so cold. therapy is notying like a psychic anything. they can’t read your mind , they only know what you tell them and it is all confidential. you find one that you like and just start with whathappened when you were young or whatever is bothering you now. wait until you get comfortable then you will feel like you can tell them anything ! they can help you with your anger and lonliness. i think not sleeping,making the appliances have voices,beccause you are still angry and now lonelyare not silly but seriuos. there thing is always do you hear voice or do you see things?i think you make up the voices up so you do not have to think about your past.that is why isaid get comfortable and make sure you trust them ,then when they are helping you, you willbelieve they can i have been in theropy for years! i’m only strong when i have to be,like now . pleasetrust me ! do this, get help! ihave alot of issues most from my childhood and it has really helped me alot !i do not know if you believeGod . he is our best help, if you do not i still care about you and respect what you believe in , i’m not good with instraments, but i’m sure my sons would love to learn the oboe! stay strong you can do this, M is a great friend i’m sure he will help youthe best he can !
4 hrs · Like

NC
I believe in God but I’m afraid He sounds exactly like the dishwasher. We talk a lot. He sounds like the dishwasher on the rinse cycle. Kind of high-pitched and tinny. But comforting. I get a lot of comfort from both. Well, less from the dishwasher now after it told me I was stupid one night last April. What’s funny to me is that the dishwasher has been broken for years. I keep my taxes in there. And every April 15th, I kick it. I think the dishwasher calls me names out of hurt and jealousy. I think you are absolutely right! I think I am angry and lonely and hurt and jealous because my past was so difficult. You are way better than Dionne Warwick or the psychic hotline. Has anyone ever approached you about starting your own practice? I think all you’d need is an 900 number and a phone. I have a phone you could use. And yes, I should sell the stupid violin. The label reads “Petrus Guarnerius Cremonensis fecit Mantuae sub tit. Sanctae Teresiae 1701” and one like it sold at Christie’s for $302,000.00. But mine won’t be worth that. It told me so. Besides, I banged it against the cold dead radiator one night in an angry fit of loneliness and it has a big dent in it. I was talking on the phone with our mutual friend about that just last night. He is a good friend. We met cliff diving in Tierra del Fuego back before my accident and oh my goodness he could make me laugh. Still can. He is good people. I sometimes think I bother him with my endless emails and calls, but he would never tell me so, even though last night I’m almost convinced he put the phone down for a half hour to read to his daughter. I could hear him reading to her. It may have been my imagination though. Or the fridge.
34 mins · Like

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